Shitty Mozart’s Disappointed Parents Mixtape

Making his Fringe debut in a cheap wig, Shitty Mozart stars Aaron Nemo as the botched clone of Wolfgang Mozart, an aspiring entertainer willing to go to extraordinary lengths to cover up the fact that he was accidentally replicated without any of Wolfgang’s musical talents. These desperate methods include blasphemous songs, vulgar animations, and, at one point, a drug-induced laser light show. We wanted to know what his parents think about this profane hurricane of a performance. He responded with this mixtape.

Sipho – I Don’t Get It

This first selection isn’t just a soulful, genre-bending track by Zimbabwean British singer Sipho. 'I Don’t Get It' is also what I heard my parents muttering to each other in the audience when I stepped foot onstage at the first live performance of Shitty Mozart that they ever attended.

Marina – Oh No!

The title of Marina’s 2010 single is also precisely what my parents blurted out in unison as the opening number in my show took a dark turn toward the obscene.

L.T.D. – Where Did We Go Wrong

This R&B/funk jam, which peaked at No. 28 on the Hot Billboard 200 in 1980, is also the verbatim phrase my parents murmured to each other five minutes into my set, as their disgust quickly turned into a solemn reflection of their parenting mistakes.

Keane – He Used To Be A Lovely Boy

A few songs later, my parents’ introspection evolved into a kind of bereavement, as they echoed the refrain of this melancholic ballad to mourn the sweet, innocent child they once knew before I was led astray by the insidious influences of big-city living.

Baby ft. Clipse – What Happened To That Boy

I highly doubt my parents listen to much early 2000s hip-hop, but they seemed to be directly plagiarising this Birdman classic while theorising aloud about where my life took a turn for the worse. At one point, I could’ve sworn I even heard my mom in the audience mimicking Birdman’s trademark 'brrr' from the chorus.

SPINN – It’s Not Getting Better

At around twenty minutes into my act, Mom and Dad reached the acceptance stage of the grieving process. Much like the narrator in the lyrics of this catchy indie rock tune, they came to terms with the reality that their son’s passion was dressing up in a wig and having sword fights with his own crude-looking cartoons.

David Wingo – He Needs Help

My parents then, perhaps rightfully so, considered steps they could take to address the erratic, self-destructive behavior I was exhibiting onstage. I believe they spoke the title of this David Wingo composition from Brigsby Bear verbatim when I was chugging a bottle of mouthwash.

Snowblood – RIP MY EYES OUT

I never thought I’d mention my kind, tender parents in the same breath as a sludge/post-rock/doom metal band, but they began shouting this identical phrase during the crescendo of the animated rat orgy segment in my show.

Trick Daddy ft. Lil John & Twista – Let’s Go

This 2004 club banger that samples Ozzy Osbourne’s 'Crazy Train' (that’s also a description my parents had for the show) repeats the same two-word hook that my dad used to suggest they should leave mid-show. My mom’s response, in an emphatic intonation that rivaled Lil Jon’s, was 'Yeah!'

Tiffany Day – I Want My Money Back!

An hour later, as I wheeled out my large keyboard case full of instruments and gadgets, I found my parents standing on the sidewalk with their arms folded. Much like Tiffany Day did in her 2019 pop single, they demanded a refund. Apparently, in their fit of rage, they had forgotten I’d comped their tickets.

MN8 – I’ve Got A Little Something For You

You probably know 'I’ve Got A Little Something For You' as the 1995 R&B hit. I know it as the menacing declaration my mom made right before she kicked me in the groin.