The Fest Directory: Sara Pascoe

The Engine Shed

19 St Leonard's Lane, EH8 9SH

Located in an old shed from the ‘innocent railway’ (so called because it never killed anyone!) this is a great vegetarian restaurant that also caters for vegan legends. They make their own organic tofu on site AND they act as a social enterprise offering employment and training for young people with learning difficulties. It’s near Arthur's Seat but they have other chairs that you are free to use.

Food 9

Drink 9

Fringeyness 8

Secret Weapon: It’s not being used as a venue so your scone won’t be interrupted by student ‘guerilla theatre’

Fatal Flaw: I have never seen Take That in there.

David Bann Restaurant

56-58 St Mary's St, EH1 1SX

A vegan/vegetarian restaurant masquerading as a NORMAL animal murdering one! There are no slogans on the wall and they don’t insist you have a beard so you can bring your meat-consuming acquaintances and they won’t complain as much as normal. I love the food and atmosphere and the fact I can sit in the window in the early afternoon and drink cocktails, weeping and watching passers by.

Food 9

Drink 10

Fringeyness 6

Secret Weapon: The ssssssh gun.

Fatal Flaw: You can’t book in advance during the festival, so sometimes you have to queue for a few minutes.

The Baked Potato Shop

56 Cockburn St, EH1 1PB

This tiny eatery is great if you are skint and/or starving. They cater for vegans and vegetarians, the service is quick and friendly (or maybe I am just a really great guy and everyone loves me?). Josie Long took me here after she had forced me to go swimming in the sea on the coldest day in the world. I was hyperventilating but a massive tuber covered in avocado sorted me right out.

Food 8

Drink 6

Fringeyness 8

Secret Weapon: Invisible anthrax.

Fatal Flaw: Only one table so you may have to take away which is GREAT when it’s sunny and annoying on the other 360 days of the year.

Freemans Coffee Shop

2-6 Spottiswoode Road, EH9 1BQ

The greatest thing about living in Scotland for one month of the year is this cafe. They make all different clever kinds of coffee, like slow cold drip and hot squirty fountain etc. which I am too boring to try, but I love the long tables and the delicious avocado on toast and once I saw a dog working in here. Also I once sat next to Amanda Palmer in Freemans and tried to become best friends by pulling great facial expressions. I also once saw her in Black Medicine too, so they deserve a mention.

Food 9

Drink 9

Fringeyness 8

Secret weapon: Dog employment.

Fatal Flaw: Amanda Palmer is not my best friend - yet.

Frankenstein’s

26 George IV Bridge, EH1 1EN

I do not like cool places for drinking, I like grim touristy places with karaoke that is easily accessible. Hence this amazing bar, stocking all the alcopops of the rainbow and a real live Frankenstein who descends over the dance floor as you worship him. At midnight I think it is, although the more I think about this the more I doubt it happened. This could have been WKD hallucination…

Drink 4

Fringeyness 7

Secret weapon; Cheesy disco man. You know you want it. Let’s see you grinding to Justin Timberlake after three and a half Reefs.

Fatal Flaw: I don’t know if the Frankenstein in a coffin coming out over the dance floor really happened.