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The Very Best of the Edinburgh Festivals 2024
Review: Assembly Hall
Review: Orchestra of Sound
Review: After the Silence
Published 12 Aug 2010
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Mike Wozniak is distracted. Wearily running his hands through his hair, gazing into the middle distance, the stage at the Stand seems to be the last place he wants to be. But it's a persona he has honed to perfection: that of the harassed and disorganised everyman, self-righteously appalled at all the absurdity he finds in everyday life.
You can't help but agree with Wozniak's inane concerns. "I'm trying to be green by keeping all my plastic bags but now I just have the world's largest collection of Tesco bags!" he bellows, gazing around the room for agreement. Yellowing to-do lists, mouldering laundry, Wozniak presents himself as someone who can barely function domestically – but he sure can turn a phrase.
Egg and Spoon primarily tracks the Wozniaks' attempts to conceive, and wades through urban legends, homeopathy and the crackpot tips he finds in his fertility book. Upon finding the suggestion of using egg whites as a lubricant, cue appalled expression, he intones fretfully, "But what if some of the yolk gets inside my wife and we end up with a hideous half-man half-chicken?"
Egg and Spoon is at times little more than a forum for Wozniak's conception worries as he presses the audience for advice on positions and timing. There is a certain charm to his frankness, and as you leave you find yourself hoping it will all end happily for him. Just put the man out of his misery.